Fear, the death of an opportunity

Fear will cause you to withdraw from purpose and miss out on incredible opportunities.

 

Hi, I hope you are well. Sorry for the long hiatus, hopefully what follows below will provide some context of what has been going on.

 

I have, over the past few months written four blogs, which are unpublished; this is the fifth blog. I am still contemplating whether to post the others or not, hopefully I will arrive at a decision soon. Anyway, a few weeks ago my pastor offered me an opportunity to share a word on Godly Friendships during our Women’s Wellness Wednesday i.e., our Church’s annual Women’s month initiative. I agreed with immense excitement; it’s obviously something that is dear to my heart i.e., sharing about God, life, etc.

 

Fast forward to several days later, I went from extremely excited to borderline terrified and anxious about the whole thing. On one hand I was so excited because it is a dream to speak on incredible platforms with people of like minds but on the other hand, I was extremely doubtful, insecure, unworthy, insignificant, etc. I did not feel worthy of the platform or even the opportunity and I became very afraid. I remember speaking to a friend about it, I felt so frustrated with myself and with the fact that I could not really pinpoint what God wanted me to say pertaining to the subject matter. During that conversation, I began feeling as though I could not think, I had a fear and anxiety induced mental block (go figure).

 

Despite this, I continued to pray about the message and for God’s help. Then August arrived. A day or two before the first session, I texted my pastor just to make sure that I am not the first speaker. The joke here is that logic dictated that she, as our Pastor, would be the first speaker, I knew that but wanted to make sure that it was not me. Hey, to my defence, I had a full day meeting on the day and was not going to be in my best state to deliver; however, the meeting was the tip of the iceberg, I was fearful and anxious (this was the large iceberg underneath the surface of the water). You should have seen and heard my relief when she reminded me that she would be opening the sessions. I about threw a mini celebration with my sigh of relief. I must say, my mini celebration was short lived.

 

We had an amazing first session where my Pastor shared about “the whole woman” and aligning with God. The message was wonderful and liberating. She spoke about the importance of self-care in every aspect of the Word, mentally, spiritually, physically, etc. It later dawned on me that her session had passed, and I was a potential speaker for the next session. Did my stress levels not shoot up again? Yes, they did. Even though that was the case, I began to be even more intentional about my preparation and slowly something started to form. This, however, did not ease my feelings of fear and anxiety.

 

I remember sharing with God how I felt as though He was not coming through as He would normally do. I was not experiencing the norm when engaging with Him about messages. So, I began to put it on God that I could not hear clearly; my audacity baffled even me. A day or so before the session I had a better picture of what I would share but I was still feeling as though I was not hearing God well. I, therefore, continued in prayer and reading scriptures for some time. At a certain point, I began to feel a bit better.

 

Oh, I forgot to tell you that three days before the said session, my Pastor confirmed that I would be the speaker for the then upcoming session. That is when I really started blaming God for my hearing challenges just because I was afraid and not because God failed at His part. He did not fail, He did what He does, I was just not in the space or even state of mind / heart to see that. I, in a way, blamed God for my shortcomings and the state I was in. Just imagine a human being blaming God for fear and anxiety…

 

My other Pastor often says, "anxiety is envisioning a life without God." When anxious, you feel overwhelmed as though you won’t overcome or succeed. That is what a life without God would feel like to a believer; it is as though all is lost, that you, your faith, efforts will amount to nothing because God is not there to help you. When you feel this way, please remember the Word of God, which says in Hebrews 13: 5 Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. 6 So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.

 

Isaiah 43: 5 Fear not: for I am with thee: I will bring thy seed from the east, and gather thee from the west; 6 I will say to the north, Give up; and to the south, Keep not back: bring my sons from far, and my daughters from the ends of the earth; 7 Even every one that is called by my name: for I have created him for my glory, I have formed him; yea, I have made him.

 

Getting back to my brief story, I awoke on Wednesday reciting what I wanted to share and still asking God if it was Him or not. I remember a question popped up in my mind asking me: who helped you identify the two sets of friends in the Word that would serve as models for Godly friendships? and who brought the concept to life? At that moment, my answer was: “not me.” It felt like God was saying to me: "Happy, what are you saying? What is this really about?" Not that He did not know the answer, but I seemed to be oblivious to what was raging within me.

 

As prepared as I tried to be, and as much as I tried to pray for the session, I had another long meeting on Wednesday; also, I was the host. That meant I would have a hectic day of taking care of people, therefore, would not have additional time to further prepare for the session in the evening. I think at about 13:00, when most people were eating, I tried to read my 10-page notes in preparation for the session but then my laptop died. Guess the worst part, there was no plug where I was sitting; I, therefore, could not charge my laptop and use it at the same time. I am laughing now, but at that time I needed a strong cup of black Americano but had to settle for Rooibos tea because I am trying to change (I will one day beat this and stop dreaming about black coffee – hey, I mean the actual coffee, not the artist. I just want to make sure that we are on the same page).

 

Now that I have clarified that trivial matter, I sat on my chair and made peace that I could not do much. All that I could do was hope for the meeting to end early. I got home at about 16:00 and was tired. I then took a moment to myself and then at about 17:00 tried to go through my notes and pray. The time for the session fast approached and my heart was beating at an even faster pace. Among the things that I was mumbling to the Lord were the words, “LORD, PLEASE HELP ME.”

 

The session took place, and I did my best, which I pray made sense to everyone who was there. Immediately after the session, the topic for this blog came to mind i.e., “Fear, death of an opportunity!” The process of reflection that ensued thereafter revealed a deeper problem beyond that session and the experience of preparing for it. It revealed that the fear and anxiety that I felt were resulting from feelings of inadequacy and insignificance. This realisation was because those symptoms were recurring and had been there for quite some time. I genuinely thought that I had previously dealt with them, but they crept up again.

 

You see, Beautiful Woman is not a concept birthed in 2025. Beautiful Woman first came about in 2010 / 2011, but I was not faithful. A few years ago, it was revived again during my time with the Lord, and I planned for it but never executed the plans, except for one or two blogs that were written. Fast forward to 2025, I wanted to be obedient, so I finally got this page up and began writing again, I even had the confidence to post the blogs. At the time, I thought I had finally gotten over whatever often held me back, inadequacy and insignificance. Man was I wrong. June 2025 arrived, and I went blank, even inconsistent in my devotion, as well as prayer.

This destroyed any confidence that I thought I had in me to blog or even speak about God. I felt unworthy: why would / should a person that is inconsistent in devotion stand before men / women to speak about God? That Is what was going on within me.

 

Since then, I battled fear and anxiety, all emanating from the above. As I shared above, I still wrote blogs but never had the confidence to share them. The self-questioning persisted: “who are you that you should write blogs for people’s consumption? What journey could you possibly share with people when you fall short? These are the thoughts that occupied my mind. It really took that moment of reflection to face my thoughts. I am writing and sharing this with you as an avenue of confronting those thoughts and exercising my faith in God.

 

We sometimes forget what God has said about us and we get lost in negative thoughts that hinder our growth and progression. Fear often rears its ugly head through the thoughts that we have. Fear often makes us desire to retreat or quit. It steals our peace, joy, purpose, lives; it takes away so much from us. As I write this, I am consistently reminded that God is with me. On one of the days, I was listening to music i.e. Emmanuel by OncemoreSix and Ukona by Goshen. Through the two songs, God was literally reminding me that He is always with me, and I don’t have to do anything without Him. I don’t have to be myself or do life without Him; He is with me.

 

Matthew 1: 22 All this took place to fulfil what the Lord had said through the prophet: 23 “The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel”[g] (which means “God with us”).

 

As I write this, I am reminded of Jeremiah and Moses, when they counted themselves out because of what they deemed their shortcomings or inadequacies. God was not concerned about any of their excuses because He knew who He made them to be and what He placed in them. Most of all, God knew what He could do through and with them. God is sure of himself (by the way, one of the blogs that are currently on ice is about God’s certainty.)

 

I love writing these blogs. I love talking about God but for three months, I have not freely done what I love because of fear. When someone suggested something to me about seizing an opportunity to write or speak about God / my faith, I would flinch and come up with a reason why it should not be me. Imagine how depressing, and exhausting it is to not do what you love because you second guess yourself. That is daylight robbery, we are robbing ourselves of wonderful, meaningful, impactful, fulfilling, purposeful lives with the Lord Jesus Christ. We allow the enemy to convince us that we are not good enough or even worthy to utter the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, yet it is through His name that we are saved, and the world will come to be saved. In His Word it is written:

 

Joel 2: 32 And everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved; for on Mount Zion and in Jerusalem there will be deliverance, as the Lord has said, even among the survivors whom the Lord calls.

 

Romans 10: 13 for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

 

How will we be saved, how will we overcome, how will we be victorious if we are not calling upon His name? Call upon Him when you are weary and weak; call upon His name when you are fearful, anxious, worried and depressed; call upon Him in your fallen state, let not the enemy keep you from the Lord. Do not allow the enemy to silence you. Please hear me out, I am not saying minister at the alter in a fallen state; I am, however, saying, do not let the enemy convince you to take up an identity or state of mind or position that should not be yours as a believer.

 

As believers we are to fear God and Him alone. Fear paralyses: nothing and no one deserves to have that much power over us, except the Lord our God!

 

Isaiah 8: 13 The Lord Almighty is the one you are to regard as Holy, He is the one you are to fear, He is the one you are to dread.

 

Deuteronomy 6: 13 Fear the Lord your God, serve him only and take your oaths in his name. 

 

Fear is not our portion, peace is! fear is not our portion, victory is! How long will we allow the enemy to hinder us through deception? Fear and anxiety are deceptive tactics mastered and used by the enemy to prevent us from living the lives the Lord intended for us.

 

2 Timothy 1: 7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

 

On Thursday, 22 August 2025, I woke up to a few thoughts and really began pondering on them. In essence, I thought to myself, I wonder if Mary and Joseph were ever intimidated or even afraid because of the weight / magnitude of the responsibility to raise the Son of the Living God. Were the brilliant four i.e., Daniel, Meshack, Shadrack and Abednego, ever afraid of the magnitude of responsibility to lead Babylonians especially not sharing the same belief system as them? Were they slightly afraid when they defied Babylonian rulers as they sought to compromise them and their faith? Was Joseph afraid when his life suddenly took an unexpected turn at the hands of his own brothers all the way to the house of pharaoh? Was Abraham afraid to leave his father’s house to a land unknown?

 

The people we read about in the Word of God, were there semblances of fear that emerged during their defining moments? Were the said semblances of fear drowned by the perfect love of God and faith? We know that they were all victorious; they succeeded at what God instructed but did it not take God Himself to get them there? Was it not God’s doing that they would thrive, succeed, obtain victory?

 

It took God for Esther, Nehemiah, Ezra and his company, Hezekiah, Peter, etc. to be steadfast, resilient, as well as victorious. When fear sought to creep in and hinder the doings of the Lord in their lives, they sought the Lord and He answered.

 

Ezra 3: 2 Then stood up Jeshua the son of Jozadak, and his brethren the priests, and Zerubbabel the son of Shealtiel, and his brethren, and builded the altar of the God of Israel, to offer burnt offerings thereon, as it is written in the law of Moses the man of God. 3 And they set the altar upon his bases; for fear was upon them because of the people of those countries: and they offered burnt offerings thereon unto the Lord, even burnt offerings morning and evening.

 

Isaiah 37: And it came to pass, when king Hezekiah heard it, that he rent his clothes, and covered himself with sackcloth, and went into the house of the Lord. 2 And he sent Eliakim, who was over the household, and Shebna the scribe, and the elders of the priests covered with sackcloth, unto Isaiah the prophet the son of Amoz.

 

5 So the servants of king Hezekiah came to Isaiah. 6 And Isaiah said unto them, Thus shall ye say unto your master, Thus saith the Lord, Be not afraid of the words that thou hast heard, wherewith the servants of the king of Assyria have blasphemed me. 7 Behold, I will send a blast upon him, and he shall hear a rumour, and return to his own land; and I will cause him to fall by the sword in his own land.

 

Isaiah 37: 14 And Hezekiah received the letter from the hand of the messengers, and read it: and Hezekiah went up unto the house of the Lord, and spread it before the Lord. 15 And Hezekiah prayed unto the Lord, saying, 16 O Lord of hosts, God of Israel, that dwellest between the cherubims, thou art the God, even thou alone, of all the kingdoms of the earth: thou hast made heaven and earth. 17 Incline thine ear, O Lord, and hear; open thine eyes, O Lord, and see: and hear all the words of Sennacherib, which hath sent to reproach the living God. 18 Of a truth, Lord, the kings of Assyria have laid waste all the nations, and their countries, 19 And have cast their gods into the fire: for they were no gods, but the work of men's hands, wood and stone: therefore they have destroyed them. 20 Now therefore, O Lord our God, save us from his hand, that all the kingdoms of the earth may know that thou art the Lord, even thou only.

 

I am reminded of Peter, what a great man he would become but there was a time when fear held him back – remember when he denied Jesus in Luke 22:60? I am not seeking to find weaknesses or to highlight his weakest moments, but to recognise that it took God to overcome fear, anxiety, and timidity.

 

Luke 22: 60 And Peter said, Man, I know not what thou sayest. And immediately, while he yet spake, the cock crew. 61 And the Lord turned, and looked upon Peter. And Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how he had said unto him, Before the cock crow, thou shalt deny me thrice. 62 And Peter went out, and wept bitterly.

 

Was Peter’s denial not a result of fear? What would have happened to him had he agreed that he knew and served Christ? What would they have done to him? but we know with all certainty that Peter loved the Lord and gave his life to serving Him. He became extremely bold and stood for his convictions even in the face of death. Something changed in Peter.

 

The same Peter saw the Son of God walking on water and asked to join Him. Peter walked on water because He had faith. Having faith; trusting God to do what He does; and the assurance that He is incapable of failure, demolish fear and anxiety. When God is in it…🙌🏾 we cannot fail. The same story of Peter walking on water reminds me that at times we start with so much faith, but storms cause us to loose focus on God, then suddenly we loose our footing but the Lord Jesus Christ who is with us on this journey is able to hold us up so that we do not sink.

 

Matthew 14: 28 And Peter answered him and said, Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water. 29 And he said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me. 31 And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt? 32 And when they were come into the ship, the wind ceased. 33 Then they that were in the ship came and worshipped him, saying, Of a truth thou art the Son of God.

 

When Peter was afraid and he began to sink the scripture tells us that he cried saying “Lord, save me.” Ohhhh my goodness, “Lord, save me.” 🙌🏾 He knew that the Lord could save him, he was sure of it and as always, the Lord did not disappoint, He saved Peter. Look, Peter was a fisherman, do you mean to tell me that he could not swim? Or was the storm so terrifying that he did not believe in his ability to withstand it? How violent was the storm that he perceived he would not survive? The Word of God says the wind was boisterous (violent, turbulent, energetic, noisy). Imagine strong wind and a large body of water, the combination is lethal, but let’s take note of the below.

 

Isaiah 43:1 But now [in spite of past judgments for Israel’s sins], thus says the Lord, He Who created you, O Jacob, and He Who formed you, O Israel: Fear not, for I have redeemed you [ransomed you by paying a price instead of leaving you captives]; I have called you by your name; you are Mine. 2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned or scorched, nor will the flame kindle upon you. 3 For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior; I give Egypt [to the Babylonians] for your ransom, Ethiopia and Seba [a province of Ethiopia] in exchange [for your release].

 

It does not matter what we are facing, whether we are afraid of standing in front of people and speaking, or there is a threat to one’s life, failure, loss, whatever the cause of your fear or anxiety might be, God is with us, and He will help / save us!

 

Can we take a moment and think about children of Israel and their "possession" of Canaan.

 

Twelve (12) spies were sent to Canaan to spy the land, ten returned with a negative report (they were afraid) but then there were two i.e., Joshua and Caleb (Numbers13:1, 26 -31). They understood the assignment, they came back with a good report. Did they not see what the other 10 saw? They certainly did, but they did not have the same outlook and they knew that they were possessing the land with God and not alone. They became the only 2 out of the 12 to enter the promise land with the collective (children of Israel). They did not allow themselves to be consumed with their inadequacies or even fear, they chose to trust the God they served; the God who promised them!

Numbers 14: 4 And they said to each other, “We should choose a leader and go back to Egypt.” 5 Then Moses and Aaron fell facedown in front of the whole Israelite assembly gathered there. 6 Joshua son of Nun and Caleb son of Jephunneh, who were among those who had explored the land, tore their clothes 7 and said to the entire Israelite assembly, “The land we passed through and explored is exceedingly good. 8 If the Lord is pleased with us, he will lead us into that land, a land flowing with milk and honey, and will give it to us. 9 Only do not rebel against the Lord. And do not be afraid of the people of the land, because we will devour them. Their protection is gone, but the Lord is with us. Do not be afraid of them.”

 

Fear made them rethink their destiny. They decided that going back to Egypt was better that possessing the land and walking in the promises of God. This was huge and though they did not return to Egypt, they certainly did not possess the land. Be careful not to disqualify yourself from the very thing that God promised you. Imagine not possessing something because of unnecessary fear and complaints. Also, did they think the Egyptians would open their arms wide and receive them gracefully after the losses they suffered at the hands of God because of them (Israelites)? I don’t think so!

 

Back to the issue of fear…

 

What do we stand to gain from embracing fear and anxiety? What are their benefits? What value do / will we derive from being intoxicated with them? What have we sacrificed to them? What have we lost to them? How much are we still willing to loose or sacrifice to them? Taking stock of our losses should help us fully grasp the magnitude of what we gave up by accommodating fear and anxiety. The outcome of this process should earnestly compel a change in our outlook, behaviour, pursuits, etc. We cannot be okay with the havoc that fear, and anxiety have wreaked in our lives, we can’t. We are children of the Most High God; well thought out by our Creator, thus substandard living is unacceptable and should not be tolerated by us (believers).

 

1 John 4: 16 And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him. 17 Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as He is, so are we in this world. 18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. 19 We love him, because he first loved us.

 

Let us stand on the Word and promises of God. His perfect love casts away fear and He really loves us. Be not deterred, please. Hold fast the profession of your faith; trust God to do what He does and to keep His Word.

 

As I conclude, I would like to share what I received as a response to the problem I had, which is noted above. Coming to think of it, it is also a fear of disappointing God by possibly misrepresenting him and a fear of people’s reception of me, as well as my output (i.e. acceptance or rejection). I did not know how to describe it until this very moment.

 

I came across Psalm 81:10 recently and really took time to meditate on it. It reads as follows:

 

“I am the Lord thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt: open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.”

 

As I read the verse, I was struck by the words “open your mouth wide and I will fill it!” I was then reminded of two scriptures i.e. John 12:49 – 50 (Jesus speaks the words the Father tells Him to speak) and Mark 13:11 (the Holy Spirit speaking for the one on trial). Yes, I understand the context thereof but also want to indicate that when the Lord sends us to speak, we become vessels through whom He speaks.

 

When I was meditating on scriptures above especially Psalm 81:10 I saw the provision of the Lord. The mouth is filled with either food to eat, water to drink or words to speak. In my meditation, I believe that the Lord was saying to me that I am merely required to open my mouth wide without fear or reservation and He will fill it. The Lord will provide what is necessary! I, therefore, don’t need to be afraid or anxious because He will make provision for it. I just need to trust Him, especially because I am saying that this is of / from Him. If He ordained it, He will be in it and ensure its success. Also, don’t forget, we are not alone, the Holy Spirit is our Help!!!

 

This reminds me of Jeremiah 1: 9, which says:

 

The Lord replied, “Don’t say, ‘I’m too young,’ for you must go wherever I send you and say whatever I tell you. 8 And don’t be afraid of the people, for I will be with you and will protect you. I, the Lord, have spoken!” 9 Then the Lord reached out and touched my mouth and said, “Look, I have put my words in your mouth!”

 

How blessed are we that the Lord Jesus Christ would invest so much in us and even consistently show up to help us. Lord, God Almighty, what is man that Thou art mindful of him? The Lord is mindful of you and me. I am so in awe of God. Lord, thank You!

 

The gist of the matter is this, go out there and live your best lives, lives that glorify the Lord. Seize every opportunity that the Lord avails to you. He deserves that from us! Have a remarkable day.

 

Love

Happy

 

Additional Scripture references:

 

Isaiah 43: 5 Fear not: for I am with thee: I will bring thy seed from the east, and gather thee from the west.

 

Ecclesiastes 12: ¹³ Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.

 

Psalm 111: 9 He sent redemption unto his people: He hath commanded His covenant for ever: holy and reverend is His name. 10 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom: a good understanding have all they that do His commandments: His praise endureth for ever.

 

Isaiah 44: 1 Yet now hear, O Jacob my servant; and Israel, whom I have chosen: 2 Thus saith the Lord that made thee, and formed thee from the womb, which will help thee; Fear not, O Jacob, my servant; and thou, Jesurun, whom I have chosen. 3 For I will pour water upon him that is thirsty, and floods upon the dry ground: I will pour my spirit upon thy seed, and my blessing upon thine offspring: 4 And they shall spring up as among the grass, as willows by the water courses.

 

Isaiah 44: 8 Fear ye not, neither be afraid: have not I told thee from that time, and have declared it? ye are even my witnesses. Is there a God beside me? yea, there is no God; I know not any.

 

Isaiah 26: 3 You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. 4 Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal.

 

Numbers 13: 1The Lord said to Moses, ² “Send some men to explore the land of Canaan, which I am giving to the Israelites. From each ancestral tribe send one of its leaders.” ³ So at the Lord’s command Moses sent them out from the Desert of Paran. All of them were leaders of the Israelites.

 

Numbers 13: 26 They came back to Moses and Aaron and the whole Israelite community at Kadesh in the Desert of Paran. There they reported to them and to the whole assembly and showed them the fruit of the land. 27 They gave Moses this account: “We went into the land to which you sent us, and it does flow with milk and honey! Here is its fruit. 28 But the people who live there are powerful, and the cities are fortified and very large. We even saw descendants of Anak there. 29 The Amalekites live in the Negev; the Hittites, Jebusites and Amorites live in the hill country; and the Canaanites live near the sea and along the Jordan.”

 

30 Then Caleb silenced the people before Moses and said, “We should go up and take possession of the land, for we can certainly do it.”

 

31 But the men who had gone up with him said, “We can’t attack those people; they are stronger than we are.” 32 And they spread among the Israelites a bad report about the land they had explored. They said, “The land we explored devours those living in it. All the people we saw there are of great size. 33 We saw the Nephilim there (the descendants of Anak come from the Nephilim). We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them.”

 

John 14: 27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

 

Psalm36: 7 How excellent is thy lovingkindness, O God! therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of thy wings. 8 They shall be abundantly satisfied with the fatness of thy house; and thou shalt make them drink of the river of thy pleasures.

 

Isaiah 58: 11 The Lord will guide you continually giving you water when you are dry and restoring your strength. You will be like a well-watered garden, like an ever-flowing spring.

 

Exodus 23 25 “You must serve only the Lord your God. If you do, I[d] will bless you with food and water, and